1. Ashley from Sin Cities. Do you watch this show? Ashley Hames is the lanky, nerdy, bespectacled Brit host who takes you to cities around the world in search of the most bizarre sexual fetishes. Does this seem like the recipe for a sex symbol to you? Me neither. Especially when you see him in such humiliating and painful looking situations as having his testicles nailed to a board or having huge, industrial-looking, metal hooks strung through the skin of his back or being lead around naked on a leash, to name but a meager few on a very long list. But he’s funny and amazingly game for anything. I don’t know. It works.
2. Dan Connor. Goofy, overweight, blue collar jokester is not my usual dream guy. But John Goodman makes Roseanne’s long suffering husband charming and loveable. On the opposite end of the bad boy’s mysterious allure, Dan is the quintessential good guy in his salt-of-the-earth, middle American, tough on the outside, soft on the inside way. Perhaps my favourite episode is when he finds out Jackie – the sister-in-law he only just barely tolerates hanging around his house annoying him everyday – is getting beat up by her boyfriend. He takes one look at Jackie huddled in tears and wordlessly grabs his jacket and slips out the back door. Dan Connor, avenger of abused women, to the rescue!
3. Tony Soprano. But speaking of bad boys, I find it completely inexplicable why a murdering, cheating, overweight, balding, selfish head of a crime family would be in any way attractive to me whatsoever, but for some reason, he kinda is. During the writers’ strike my husband and I survived the lack of original TV by purchasing all six seasons of the Sopranos on DVD. It was addictive. We watched two or three episodes a night and by the end of it, we were fighting the urge to talk to each other with an Italian-New Jersey accent complete with expletives and Paulie-type hand gestures. And I was sort of crushing on Tony. I think the combination of his unyielding power at work combined with the vulnerability he would show in his sessions with Dr. Melfi somehow melded this crime lord into something appealing.
4. George Stroumboulopoulos. I personally don’t think George should be on this list. I don’t find anything “strange” about being attracted to the cute, funny, witty, sexy host of a smart Canadian prime time talk show with great guests. But my husband insists it’s strange so I’ve added him. Plus it gives me an excuse to blog about him. I love how George starts off The Hour with, “I’m your boyfriend, George Stroumbouloupoulos.” How does he know?! I thought it was all in my head but there he is, announcing it. Love ya, George!
5. Anderson Cooper. The distinguished grey hair. The piercing blue eyes. Intelligent, well-spoken, knowledgeable, quirky, self-deprecating, well-dressed….Okay, I realize he’s totally gay, which is what puts him on this list. That doesn’t stop Erica Hill from shamelessly flirting with him on America’s number one cable news network. It’s not just me, right? She totally wants him. I’m with you Erica… even if Anderson ain’t with us.
So, who’s on your list of unlikely secret boyfriends?
Showing posts with label celebs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label celebs. Show all posts
Monday, September 8, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
5 people on TV who really bug me
1. Russell, “The Cashman,” Oliver. Just when you thought his commercials couldn’t get any cheesier or more embarrassing, what does the Cashman do? He makes a dance video! OMG, could it get any worse? That song! That song that amounts to taking what Oliver says ad nausea in his ads and, horror of horrors, setting it to music. “I’m the Cashman. I’ll give you money for your go-old, yeah.” My ears! And what about those poor women? It’s bad enough to be a dance video ho to begin with; we’ve heard how poorly they’re treated. But if it’s 50 cent or P Diddy you’re humping up against, at least they’re famous. That’s gotta look better on a video ho resume than “I gyrated next to a grey haired Jewish guy flapping around handfuls of Canadian twenties.” Are these girls heading back to standing on the street corner after taping? “Oh-oh yeah!”
2. Rachel Ray. I kinda feel bad saying this one because I never really watch her show, I don’t know anything about her, I really have no basis for feeling this way. I shouldn’t be annoyed by her: she’s got a real person’s figure, she’s pleasant looking, not ugly but not beautiful. She’s girl-next-door, down-to-earth … and she’s annoying. I don’t know why. She just seems a little too cheery and happy. It comes off as fake.
3. Gayle King. I know what you’re thinking. I’m just jealous because she’s Oprah’s best friend when, clearly, I should be Oprah’s best friend. I mean, I wouldn’t make the big O want to reach in and manually tear out her ear drums so she would no longer have to suffer through my screeching along to the radio on an entire cross-country road trip, would I? But it’s more than that. It’s the Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin, factor. (Damn, there’s somebody else I should have included.) What I mean is, the show is called “Dr. Phil.” Why do we care what Robin has to say? (Recently I find it’s questionable whether or not we should care what Dr. Phil has to say.) Likewise, just because your best friend is famous does not necessarily mean you also need to take up air time on the highest rated talk show in American television history. Is it just me? Do we really care about Gayle’s favourite places to eat?
4. Carlo Rota. Maitre d’ turned actor, you may not know his name off the top of your head but trust me, he’s annoying. I was first annoyed by him on The Great Canadian Food Show. Hubby loves foodie type shows and the promise of seeing local places seems appealing. But I just can’t stomache Rota’s pretentious accent and self-important mug. Even the way he chews his food makes me want to smack him. It’s almost like a mathematical equation: take the degree of pompous, know-it-all-ness and multiply by how actually ignorant and lame a person is. Equals: Super annoying. I must confess, I haven’t watched Little Mosque on the Prairie, largely due to the fact that he’s in it. It may be that he’s not as annoying when he’s playing a character as when he’s being, you know, his annoying self. I started watching his interview on the Hour to see from the clips of the show if this is actually the case. But even the joy of watching my boyfriend, George Stroumboulopoulos, could not overcome my irritation with Rota so I couldn’t get through it. Maybe you will and you’ll let me know.
5. John Melendez. Fans of Stern will remember how Howard harped and harped about Stuttering John leaving his show to do Leno. He needn’t have given it so much thought. Other than announcing the lineup, what the heck does this guy do?? At least on Stern you heard him do his silly, stuttering red carpet bits every now and again. Apparently now all his comic writing skills can come up with is holding up a mug when his name is called. I read somewhere he’s getting $500K for that gig. Hey NBC, I’ll read some names and hold up a mug for half that. Hell, I’ll even throw in a list of 5!
I don’t watch those shows like The Bachelor and ANTM etc. So I know there are many more annoying TV faces out there that I haven’t even begun to touch upon. It’s a subject rife with possibilities, really. Tell me, who makes you want to tear off body parts and hurl them at the screen??
2. Rachel Ray. I kinda feel bad saying this one because I never really watch her show, I don’t know anything about her, I really have no basis for feeling this way. I shouldn’t be annoyed by her: she’s got a real person’s figure, she’s pleasant looking, not ugly but not beautiful. She’s girl-next-door, down-to-earth … and she’s annoying. I don’t know why. She just seems a little too cheery and happy. It comes off as fake.
3. Gayle King. I know what you’re thinking. I’m just jealous because she’s Oprah’s best friend when, clearly, I should be Oprah’s best friend. I mean, I wouldn’t make the big O want to reach in and manually tear out her ear drums so she would no longer have to suffer through my screeching along to the radio on an entire cross-country road trip, would I? But it’s more than that. It’s the Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin, factor. (Damn, there’s somebody else I should have included.) What I mean is, the show is called “Dr. Phil.” Why do we care what Robin has to say? (Recently I find it’s questionable whether or not we should care what Dr. Phil has to say.) Likewise, just because your best friend is famous does not necessarily mean you also need to take up air time on the highest rated talk show in American television history. Is it just me? Do we really care about Gayle’s favourite places to eat?
4. Carlo Rota. Maitre d’ turned actor, you may not know his name off the top of your head but trust me, he’s annoying. I was first annoyed by him on The Great Canadian Food Show. Hubby loves foodie type shows and the promise of seeing local places seems appealing. But I just can’t stomache Rota’s pretentious accent and self-important mug. Even the way he chews his food makes me want to smack him. It’s almost like a mathematical equation: take the degree of pompous, know-it-all-ness and multiply by how actually ignorant and lame a person is. Equals: Super annoying. I must confess, I haven’t watched Little Mosque on the Prairie, largely due to the fact that he’s in it. It may be that he’s not as annoying when he’s playing a character as when he’s being, you know, his annoying self. I started watching his interview on the Hour to see from the clips of the show if this is actually the case. But even the joy of watching my boyfriend, George Stroumboulopoulos, could not overcome my irritation with Rota so I couldn’t get through it. Maybe you will and you’ll let me know.
5. John Melendez. Fans of Stern will remember how Howard harped and harped about Stuttering John leaving his show to do Leno. He needn’t have given it so much thought. Other than announcing the lineup, what the heck does this guy do?? At least on Stern you heard him do his silly, stuttering red carpet bits every now and again. Apparently now all his comic writing skills can come up with is holding up a mug when his name is called. I read somewhere he’s getting $500K for that gig. Hey NBC, I’ll read some names and hold up a mug for half that. Hell, I’ll even throw in a list of 5!
I don’t watch those shows like The Bachelor and ANTM etc. So I know there are many more annoying TV faces out there that I haven’t even begun to touch upon. It’s a subject rife with possibilities, really. Tell me, who makes you want to tear off body parts and hurl them at the screen??
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)