5 challenges of getting out the door with children

Choosing toys to bring. What is going to keep them occupied while I’m meeting with the financial planner / naked under the gown at the doctor’s office / visiting friends who have no children and whose house is therefore devoid of toddler appropriate items but rife with breakables and cupboards containing poisonous cleaners? Toys! When I ask them what toys they’d like to bring they inevitably make suggestions like: My dollhouse! (too big) My paints! (too messy) My whoopy cushion! (you can imagine…)

Remembering snacks. Every mom knows that ensuring you leave the house equipped with appropriate snacks can be the key to surviving an extended car trip. I have a cupboard full of granola bars, fruit bars, drink boxes and similar grab-and-go treats to aid in my quick getaway. But sometimes I just don’t think to bring them. Like the mornings when we’re not rushed and I just have to give them breakfast and make a quick trip over to Walmart. I ask my darlings, “What would you like for breakfast?” They tell me. I make it. They don’t eat it. Then we’re hurtling along the 403 at 110km/hr and they announce, “We’re hungry! We want snacks! What do you mean you can’t magically produce food in the truck??”

Others are not on the same page. As I’m running around the house like the proverbial chicken sans head trying to round up the above-mentioned items, the others in my home are likely to be doing something like: Husband: calmly shaving and showering; Six year old son: making a “really cool fort, Mom!” by pulling every cushion and pillow off every couch, propping them against each other and then yelling at me when the cushions don’t stay; Three year old daughter: dressed like a princess (despite me having spent fifteen minutes cajoling her into her beach clothes ten minutes previous), is also donning her bike helmet since she has caught a glimpse of her bike in the garage, while I was in and out packing the truck, and has decided she needs to go for a bike ride, “…RIGHT NOW, Mama!”

The Potty. What is it about the final “potty call” before heading out the door that some kids find so off-putting? My son was never like this. I’m certain, though, that my daughter could be busting at the seams, but if we’re heading out the door and I hopefully ask, “Sarah, do you have to go pee pee before we go?” she invariably says, “NO! I don’t have to go pee!” I’ve tried everything from imploring pitifully – “Please, Sarah, please go pee pee for Mama…” – to trying a tougher stance – “Sarah, the rule is everyone has to go pee pee before we leave the house. Mama went. Max went. You have to try. At least try!” It doesn’t matter. All tactics end in a huge crying fit and the inevitable outcome of being out on the highway, nowhere near a bathroom, and hearing, “Mama, I have to go pee.” And that’s the good outcome. The other is a puddle.

The illusive item no one can find. We’re going swimming, everyone’s finally ready to go, everything’s packed. On top of toys and snacks I’ve managed to remember sunscreen, towels, bathing suits, bug spray, sunglasses, cameras, everything! Except. I just bought the kids goggles recently so the chlorine won’t hurt their eyes. They were delighted; for two days they wore them everywhere. But now that we’re actually going to a pool the goggles are nowhere to be found. I’m raving like a madwoman and have everyone in the house (finally on the same page!) looking for them. While I'm hunting my internal dialogue goes something like this: No one in this house puts anything back where they’ve found it! Everyone just leaves everything lying everywhere. Nobody ever knows where anything is. Everyone expects ME to find everything! If it were up to ME I would have put them where we could find them the next time we were going swimming - with the water wings! Oh, hold on… I go to the cupboard with the water wings. Voilà. Goggles. And I almost forgot the water wings.