5 reasons staying home with your kids is hard...

...but not for the reasons you thought.

1. Your new "occupation." I’ve heard moms who are at home full time hate getting the question “So, what do you do?” at dinner parties. To that I say … They let you out for dinner parties? Okay, kidding. For me, the issue is more about what to write on paperwork under “occupation.” I know Roseanne said ‘domestic goddess,’ (makes me think I should be riding in a chariot, not an SUV) or you sometimes hear “homemaker” (who am I, June Cleaver?). I usually opt for ‘stay-at-home mom’. But still, I don’t know. As a title it kind of sounds made up. Something about all the dashes.

2. Lack of alone time. I’ve mentioned before about the entourage following me into the bathroom. I SO wish I was kidding about that one. Especially at um, that time of the month… (“Mom, what’s that? A special bandaid?” I just know they’ll be asking for the special bandaid next time there’s an accident.). I never thought I was the kind of girl who needed a lot of alone time. I love being around people! But once you’re a mom you realize there are times when hearing that dreaded singsong-toned “Mo-om!” will have you fantasizing about the nearest Buddhist monastery.

3. The need for self-discipline. When you are in the work force, you get work done because they pay you, because you don’t want to get fired, because your boss says you have to. When you stay at home there’s no pay, you can’t get fired (some days you’re like, Please! Fire me!), and the boss is busy playing Lego. The prospect of being at home full-time sounded great to me before. Yeah, there’s laundry to do and bills to pay. But who’s going to bug me if I don’t do it right now. So maybe I spend two hours on Facebook or browsing blogs. (You know, hypothetically. Yeah, I would never actually do that. He he. Nervous laughter.) Then your husband gets home, regales you with stories of the big deals he’s nailed down today and asks you how your day went. Um, I discussed Eighties music trivia with someone from Alberta…?

4. Forced down time. Before I became a mom I understood that Being a Mom is the Hardest Job in the World. But I always thought it was because you are so busy. Busy taking little Jimmy to baseball practice and little Susie to ballet. And there are times like that (and not just in the Fifties when people actually had kids named Jimmy and Susie). But what I didn’t know about was the other time. The time when you have six people coming for dinner in fifteen minutes and you still need to vacuum, make a salad and have a shower. But you can’t do any of it because there’s a baby attached to your boob. Or when you really have to get out to the grocery store, the bank and the dry cleaners before it closes but you can’t because someone’s having a nap. So you just have to sit. Sit and stew about all the things you should be doing but can’t.

5. Nobody cares if you’re sick. Do you remember what getting a bad cold was like before you had kids? I almost kind of looked forward to it. You call in sick to work, make yourself a hot cup of tea, grab the Kleenex box and your blankets and hunker down on the couch for eight hours of watching daytime TV and generally feeling sorry for yourself. And now? Now, you’re lucky if someone says, “Bless you” when you sneeze. Lunches still need to be made, buses need to be caught, diapers need to be changed. You take some Tylenol Cold and you suck it up. (Ewww, not literally. You know what I mean.)